The Thinking Paradox

<Adapted from my Toastmasters speech>

Today we are going to unravel together one of our mind’s deceptive tactics. I am going to be talking about “The Thinking Paradox”. This convoluted moniker is educated talk for what we know in common parlance as overthinking. Yes, I am going to overthink about overthinking and hope to get some clarity in the end.

But first what is a Paradox? — Paradox is a literary device which seemingly sounds incongruous and contradicts itself but upon further scrutiny turns out to be logical & true. Here are a few examples : “If I know one thing, it is that I know nothing” or “Don’t go near the water, till you learn how to swim”. Or Paradox could also be a situation. Once such famous situational paradox is Grandfather paradox. Let us also assume Hitler is your grandfather and you are going back in time to kill him to save the world from all the suffering. Well, if you think killing your grandfather is unacceptable, let me remind you that in the past we have all killed our grandfathers many times over for something far less. Anyway, If you go back in time and kill your grandfather Hitler, it would mean your father would not have been born and as a corollary you would not have been born, so how can you go back and kill him in the first place? That is a situational paradox. In fact I have tried this — When I went to Berlin I stood exactly on top of Hitler’s Bunker near Brandenburg gate. But unfortunately I was a little late — by around 80 years, probably a calibration error in my time machine..

Paradoxes are often used to express ironies and confounding aspects of human affairs. As Descartes would say, Thinking is what makes us human, let’s see what is paradoxical about thinking..

Why do we think?

We think to get better clarity, we think to take decisions, we think to make sure our actions are successful. But have you realized that quite often it is our thinking which impedes all three of these — clarity, decision and action! Frequently so, we get into an overthinking spiral which muddles things up and causes indecision. Overthinking is like a mind loop, once you get into it you go into a daze and it is very hard to break out of that.

Why do we overthink?

The most prominent reason for overthinking is fear of failure. We want to be absolutely sure that we do not want to commit a mistake and get things first time right. If you are Dr. Strange that is fine, but if not, you might want to see a doctor about this strange behavior. But, let me save you that trouble and tell you what causes this. There is something called avoidance coping — wherein to escape from the stress of some activity we avoid/indefinitely delay doing it. And while we delay doing it, we think about it and that gives us a false sense of justification that since we are thinking about it, we are not actually avoiding it! Isn’t that a paradox as well! Mind — such a sneaking old thing!

How do we avoid overthinking?

One of the approaches is to throw caution to the wind and be action oriented. A wise old man once said:

“It is better to fail fast, than sail last”

Does being action oriented really help? It does, because you being an overthinker, you are innately cautious. So, if you plunge into work without giving much thought, you will not do something catastrophically wrong. You can try it. But what might stop you from trying is your low levels assertiveness. To improve your confidence, first you have to acknowledge your accomplishments no matter how large or small they are — because scientifically speaking your brain does not know the difference. It could be as insignificant as you closing the toilet seat yourself today without your wife nagging you. This subconsciously builds your confidence and propels you to do more.

And the final thing I would recommend is practicing mindfulness. When you meditate, you oil your brain. You set your thinking patterns right and become more self-aware. So, the next time you are caught in an overthinking loop, your mind brings that to your consciousness, you recognize it and the loop breaks like an illusion.

So practice mindfulness — Breathe in, Breathe out; breathe in breathe out; breathe in breathe out.. and by the time 7 minutes are up, say thank you; Over to you Toastmaster of the Day..!